Photo from Zane Johnson
By Colleen Mertes
Bartending is a wonderful craft. It allows for such a wide range of creativity — presenting, mixing and creating flavors, as well as naming what you create.
Some cocktail names are just really out there, ranging from whimsical to crude. How am I not supposed to blush when I ask the bartender for an Orgasm?
The cocktail list is never ending and forever expanding. The International Bartenders Association list has many drinks that have rapidly grown in popularity. Here are 10 cocktail names that are strange or even cringe worthy:
1. Fuzzy Navel
Let’s start out with a classic! This cocktail name rather rolls off the tongue… until you realize it is another term for a hairy bellybutton.
It looks delicious because it is delicious! The name derives from the ingredients: peach schnapps (fuzzy) and orange juice (naval oranges). Belly button hair is NOT part of the mixture. But if you piss off your bartender, we make no promises you will not find a hair or two.
2. Sex on My Face
A cousin to the more commonly heard and more fruity “Sex on the Beach,” this cocktail skips the pleasantry of sand and sun. Can you see sex on my face? Or is this a literal name…
Perhaps it’s called “Sex on My Face” because the large mixture of drinks leaves a bangin’ taste in your mouth…
1/2 oz Yukon Jack® Canadian whisky
1/2 oz Malibu® coconut rum
1/2 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur
1/2 oz banana liqueur
1 splash cranberry juice
1 splash pineapple juice
1 splash orange juice
3. Between The Sheets
If you catch my drift.
Seductive, isn’t it?
4. Monkey Gland
Monkey Gland is named after a surgical technique of grafting monkey testicle tissue into humans… how appetizing. Not sure why this practice inspired a cocktail, but to each his own.
5. Duck Fart
This shot is said to be to Alaska what the Mai-Tai is to Hawaii or the Margarita to Mexico. It was created in Alaska around 20 years ago. Trust me, it is far more appetizing than the name.
6. Fat Like Buddha
This cocktail looks as serene and happy as it sounds. Who would not want to be like Buddha? Find enlightenment and be Fat Like Buddha.
7. Corpse Reviver No. 2
There is a whole family of drinks referred to as Corpse Revivers. These “Hair of the Dog” remedies are supposed to cure your hangover…with more alcohol. Logical.
8. Alien Brain Hemorrage
This shot is actually named after its charming good looks.
The weird appearance is from a reaction of the liquors. Do not be turned off by the name or the sickening appearance- it is actually sweet and enjoyable.
9. Irish Trash Can
Traditionally, an Irish Trash Can is just what the bartender had left over at the end of the night. Now bartenders have domesticated it into an actual recipe, topped with an overturned bottle of RedBull.
10. A Lonely Island in the Middle of a Foggy Sea
A mouthful and a drink for the moody poet. Beautiful and haunting in both appearance and name, it seems fitting for a college student in midst of crisis trying to wander through the adult world.
1.5 oz Rhum J.M Agricole Blanc
.5 oz Cruzan Black Strap Rum
.5 oz Old Port Deluxe Matured Rum
1 oz Pineapple juice
.75 oz Lime juice
.75 oz Demerara syrup (1 part Demerara sugar, 1 part water)
.25 oz La Colombe Pure Black Cold Press Coffee