Photo from BoredPanda.com
By Nick Spennato
So supposedly we’re in Spring now. I don’t buy it. With the way the weather’s been, until it gets hot enough for your shirt to stick to you, I’m not convinced it isn’t going to snow tomorrow. We don’t really have “seasons” so much as we have hot time and cold time. Whatever, it’s that time of year where we stow the cynicism away with our heavy jackets and breathe in the sweet fresh breeze of life and rebirth or something. Let’s look at some flowers.
The legend behind this red and white beauty stems from Greek mythology. Love struck young maiden Amaryllis finds herself enamored with a shepherd who has a thing for flowers and who only dates chicks who can find him new ones. At the urging of the Oracle at Delphi, Amaryllis starts stabbing herself in the heart nightly outside of the shepherd’s cottage and eventually these new flowers grow in the crimson of her blood. The shepherd then notices the young maiden at last and her heart is healed and everything works out.
2. Lily of the Valley
Look at these little guys, they’re adorable. They look like little bells or the Snapchat ghost. They’re also super poisonous, as fans of Breaking Bad can attest to.
Dahlia flowers are genetic freaks. They have more chromosomes than most plants and as a result there are tons of colors and varieties out there. Not to be confused with the Alan Ladd film, The Blue Dahlia, the unsolved homicide of Elizabeth Short, the Black Dahlia case, or the death metal band The Black Dahlia Murder, named for the former.
The lovely poppy flowers, whose vibrant petals are known to mean everything from restful sleep to peaceful death. This is perhaps because one of the members of the poppy family is where opium is derived from. Shame about these little guys creating heroin and potentially funding terrorism.
Were you aware that the daffodil is actually just the common name we use to refer to the narcissus flower? Of course it is, just look at these guys, have you ever seen more arrogant flowers?
It sounds like something an apothecary would send a square-jawed knight to find in a generic fantasy novel. In reality bloodroot is just classy, not so freaking gaudy and braggadocious like some of these other flowers, just yellow and white with a simple petal set up. They’re also extremely toxic, and while some more holistic medical practitioners have recommended using a salve made with toxins like bloodroot’s sanguinarine to treat skin cancer these cases more often than not lead to serious disfigurement.