Photo from stonybrook.edu.
By Lauren Fetter
You’re walking to class and that’s when you see them: The person you loathe. Except you don’t know their name. You’ve seen many people like them on campus, and every time you pass by another one of them, your skin crawls. Here are the five types of people you can’t stand on campus:
1. The Kid Who Is Dressed Head-to-Toe In SBU Gear
We get it, kid. You’ve got school spirit. Your middle name is practically Wolfie, and you promptly scream “I’M A SEAWOLF” whenever someone asks you what a seawolf is. But there is no reason for you to walk around every day looking like you just robbed the Seawolves Marketplace of all their “Seawolves Swag.” An occasional SBU shirt here, a red hat there and you’ll be golden. Save some apparel for the rest of us.
2. The Kid Who Almost Mowed You Down With Their Bike
I came to school today to learn, not to be killed. Excuse me Mr. I’m-Not-Going-To-Stop-So-You-Better-Move-Over-Quickly: Please slow down on that two-wheeler and be conscious of my safety. You can move out of the way quicker than I can, so just be a doll and do it. You’ll still get to class on time, and I’ll be able to live another day.
3. The Kid Who Has To Repeatedly Ask Questions In Class
This lecture is an hour and 20 minutes long. You have asked seven questions in less than a half hour. If you paid attention, maybe you wouldn’t have to ask questions. If you actually waited to hear what the professor had to say, and didn’t jump the gun, this classroom filled with 200 people would be thankful. Now pipe down.
4. The Kid Sitting By Himself In The SAC At The Corner Booth Meant For Six People
It’s lunch time and my friends and I are looking for a place to sit and eat when, suddenly, all eyes lock on the corner booth in the SAC Traditions Lounge. “There! In the corner!” one friend says. “Not gonna happen,” another sighs. Of course that one kid felt the need to sit in the most inconvenient spot ever. Dude, you’re on your phone watching cat videos. Can’t you sit somewhere else? Please and thank you.
5. The Kid Who Purposely Sits In The Aisle Seat On The Bus
I’m ready to go home after almost 12 hours on campus. I’ve reached the Express Bus and — SHOCKER, SHOCKER — the line is hella long. When I finally get on the bus, I notice you: The kid whose backpack gets a seat, but I don’t. I totally get that you don’t want to sit next to anyone, but at the same time, there are 140 kids trying to get on this one bus right now. The least you can do is be courteous. For real.